This past week I watched almost 100 speakers stand up in front of an audience in a beginners’ public speaking course. Some people had shaking hands. Others lost their train of thought. Some talked much faster than they normally do. But nearly all of them gave a huge sigh of relief after they finished their turn and sat back down. Because public speaking makes most of us at least a little anxious. Does it ever get easier?
Most people who sign up for presentation coaching want to know one thing. When can they expect to stop feeling nervous or afraid when they stand up to present? If only it were that easy. I could smile like the Cheshire cat, hand them a magic potion of some sort, and watch the worry shrink. But it’s not that easy.
If you came for the short answer to whether or not public speaking ever gets easier, yes. Yes it does. In fact, of the 11 people who responded to a Quora asking the above question, all of them responded yes. But it’s not really a simple answer. Because fear of public speaking is not really a simple problem. It’s a persistent and complicated one. And you may be feeling like it will never get easier for you. But it can. I promise. Let’s dig in.
Public Speaking Fear is Common
If you are afraid of public speaking, you aren’t alone. In fact, research recently established public speaking as “the most common lifetime social fear.” If you’ve stood in front of an audience and experienced that fear, you know how real it is. You might be able to relate to some or many of the physical and psychological response lists in the stress-performance model below.
Most people get a least mildly nervous when it comes to public speaking. And that’s not necessary a bad thing. The World Health Organization says, “anxiety is a normal and healthy reaction to perceived danger that triggers a variety of physical, mental and behavioral changes in order to facilitate a speedy response.” But when that anxiety prevents you from performing at your best or causes you to avoid presenting all together, it’s time to get some help.
Getting Help
The most common type of therapy for fear of public speaking is cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT). This involves controlled exposure to the fear. In other words, it means standing in front of an audience and delivering a presentation or speech. This type of therapy has proven to be highly effective over the years. Through practice, fearful speakers learn how to recognize and control their specific nervous responses. You might consider joining a public speaking class or enlisting the help of a skilled psychologist or a presentation coach if you want to engage in CBT.
But maybe you aren’t quite ready to sign up for Toastmasters or enlist the help of a presentation coach. That’s okay. There’s a modern solution on the horizon of public speaking fear. A new study has shown that therapy using virtual reality (VR) can be effective, too. Research showed that after 3 months, 63% of participants reported either full or partial remission of their anxiety. That means that with the help of VR equipment and software, you can simulate the feelings of a presentation from the safety of your own living room.
Not ready to check out VR therapy options, either? Practicing on your own can still help.
Practicing on Your Own
If you aren’t ready to engage in one of the therapy methods for public speaking fear that I listed above, you can still start working on it on your own. Practice in front of a mirror. Or record yourself practicing and watch it back to see how you did. That can be uncomfortable, I know. But you are building skills. And that’s the pathway to make it easier.
The simple truth is this: if you want public speaking to come easier for you, you have to do it. In some form or another. And you have to do it repeatedly. Presenting is a skill. If you wanted to learn to juggle, it would make no sense to sit at your desk and wish you could juggle. You have to get up and start failing. And yes, I said failing, because that’s how all skills start. Okay, maybe “learning” feels better. You have to get up and start learning the skill.
Nobel Memorial Prize in Economic Sciences laureate Daniel Kahneman says, “as you become skilled in a task, its demand for energy diminishes. Studies of the brain have shown that the pattern of activity associated with an action changes as skill increases, with fewer brain regions involved.” In other words, the more you do something, the less your brain has to work. And the same is true for public speaking. Simply put, when you build your public speaking skills, it gets easier over time.
Practice Makes Perfect Effective
One final word. While public speaking has been proven to get easier with time, you might always have slight nerves before taking the stage. And you will probably still make mistakes from time to time. If you are hanging your hopes on the fact the practice will make you perfect, and that perfection will make you confident enough to overcome nervous feelings, you make want to rethink that.
Rather than being a perfect speaker or one who never feels nervous, you should be focused on being an effective speaker. On communicating your message in a manner that is both clear and engaging. Because here’s the deal. You can say every single word correctly. You can get through your planned presentation perfectly and never reach your audience.
On the flip side, you can have a few mistakes, stumble over a word or accidently skip a story, and still have an incredibly effective presentation. That’s why it’s so important to distinguish what the goal of your practice is right up front. When you begin to work on overcoming your public speaking fear, set your goal on effectiveness. Not perfection or complete elimination of nerves.
My Own Research
You know those 100 speakers I talked about in the beginning? The ones who have shaking hands and have lost their train of thought? The ones who start out convinced that public speaking will never get easier for them? It will. I just know it. Not because I’ve gathered empirical evidence in a peer-reviewed study (although those things are my go-to when it comes to research).
No, this time I know it because I’ve watched it happen over and over and over again. I’ve watched about 200 people a year for the past 2 decades (that’s close to 4 thousand if you are doing the math) come through my public speaking classes. And the nerves that show up during their first presentations aren’t showing up by the time they stand up for their fifth and final presentation. It’s not that they don’t feel nervous anymore. It’s not that they are perfect. It’s just that they know they’ll succeed because they’ve done it before. Several times.
In other words, it gets easier. For every one of them. And it will for you, too.
If you are ready to start the journey towards “easier,” get in touch with our presentation coaches today. We’re ready to help take you and your presentations to the next level.
