We have a saying here in America: the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Make enough noise and you’ll get what you need.
The Japanese have a similar saying, but with a cultural tweak: the nail that sticks out is hammered down. Clearly, it’s not just the Pacific that separates us.
Both cultures speak to a foundational dilemma in human interactions: how do we separate ourselves from the crowd without being a nuisance? When is asking for more the right thing to do, and when is it undignified, even rude?
If you see a therapist or shrink, you may want to consult him or her before employing my homegrown wisdom. In my experience, though, life is always neatly arranged when I view myself as an object of utility to others. This may not sound warm and cuddly, but the liberation and empowerment that comes from viewing yourself as an indispensable tool in a client’s or employer’s toolbox is career-changing–and we have friends and family for warm fuzzies.
The trick is learning to view projects, consultations, and business in general from someone else’s point of view. Know your personal strengths and weaknesses–are there unfilled gaps you can fill? Then ask. Are excess opinions and dialogue cluttering workflow? Then keep silent and watchful, and do your work. The driver greases the squeaky wheel because he depends on that wheel to get somewhere. The homeowner hammers down the nail because it is an obstacle on the way to a destination.
Being indispensable is not about taking on every task yourself. It’s about identifying new ways to employ your strengths so that the person paying your bills gets where they are going. If you are aware, empathic, and hardworking, you are almost certainly indispensable. If you are not, well, I’m afraid you are forgettable.
