This time of the year holds a special kind of magic. It could be the holiday lights twinkling in the night. Perhaps it’s the joy of giving to others, thinking about how to make someone smile with the perfect gift. It could be the festive food and drinks. Or maybe it’s the extra time spent with family that makes this time of year so special.
Honestly, it’s probably a combination of all of the above. But I think there could be another reason the holidays seem magical—a reason we don’t often think about. Perhaps we love this time of year because it is drenched in narratives. From the legend of Ole St. Nick, to the family traditions passed down for generations, to the movies we watch year after year, to the story of Christ’s birth, we tell lots of stories around this time of year. And if we know anything, it’s this: humans love stories.
This time of year, we have many chances to practice our conversational storytelling skills as we share stories. So let’s look at why we love stories so much, how we can tell them better, and how we create a little magic in the process.
Why Do We Need Storytelling Skills?
In his book The Art of Immersion, Frank Rose says “storytelling is a simple act of sharing. We share information. We share experience . . . life is a constantly functioning information exchange.” He says that since we are social beings, we get incredibly important social feedback from exchanging stories. And this feedback helps to establish our identity and to determine how we function within society. So when we are telling stories, we aren’t just exchanging narratives, we are participating in the very process of what it means to be human in the world. But what does that mean? Well, some of the more common reasons for telling stories are:
It gives us an ego boost.
Rose says, “Telling a story gives us an opportunity to claim the attention of people around us.” This feels good. It feels even better if the story is about us. Psychology Today cites research that found that “talking about oneself activates the same areas of the brain that light up when eating good food, taking drugs and even having sex. Simply put, self-disclosure is gratifying. It gives us a neurological buzz.”
It connects us to others.
Not all of the reasons for brushing up on your storytelling skills are so self-servient. Sometimes we tell stories as a way to identify with others. The connective power of stories isn’t something we just abstractly assume. It’s something that has been scientifically proven. Princeton researchers used fMRI technology to watch as storytellers’ and listeners’ brains synchronized as a result of shared narrative transmission.
It establishes norms.
Rose says, “stories establish norms, articulate a defining myth, . . . and set the bounds of acceptable behavior.” He points to gossip-based stories as particularly effective at accomplishing this goal. For example, when we gossip about a co-worker, we are sending subtle messages about characteristics or behaviors that fall outside acceptable norms. Or when we tell a story about someone who did something commendable or heroic, we are communicating about what types of behaviors have value in our opinion.
It builds our reputation and accomplishes our goals.
Having good storytelling skills, being able to earn and hold the attention and admiration of listeners, gives us what Rose calls a “status bump” and serves the purpose of “strategic positioning.” Whenever we tell a story, we naturally structure it in a way that puts us in a good light. You’ve probably heard the saying that whether you are the hero or the villain depends on who is telling your story. As long as you are the storyteller, chances are pretty good that you’ll depict yourself as the hero.
How Can We Improve Our Storytelling Skills?
Paul Zak has spent years researching how stories change the brain and tie strangers together. After all of his studies, this is what he found. “We discovered that there are two key aspects to an effective story. First, it must capture and hold our attention. The second thing an effective story does is ‘transport’ us into the characters’ world.” Let’s break down Zak’s findings in more detail.
1. Capture & Hold Attention
We live in a world where time and energy are valuable commodities. So attention, which requires both, is something we protect ferociously. That means your audience won’t listen if your storytelling skills aren’t “worth” their attention. The first thing you’ve got to do is to win the competition battle. To do this, try opening with a great first line, relating the story to your listener’s lives, or offering something that is startling or unexpected. The first line of your story has to work like a spotlight, guiding your listeners’ attention where you want it: on your story.
Once you’ve got your listeners’ attention, you’ve got to hold it. When it comes to maintaining attention, Zak says, “the way to keep an audience’s attention is to continually increase the tension in the story . . . In the brain, maintaining attention produces signs of arousal: the heart and breathing speed up, stress hormones are released, and our focus is high.” So construct your story to build tension gradually as your plot progresses.
2. Transport Us
The second part of Zak’s formula is transportation. His research found that “Once a story has sustained our attention long enough, we may begin to emotionally resonate with story’s characters. Narratologists call this ‘transportation.’” In order to achieve this, you need to construct your story in a way that helps the listeners understand and replicate the feelings of the characters in your story.
This means managing the level of detail you put into your story. You need just enough to paint an accurate setting and to flesh out the plot, without overwhelming the listeners. While a full-length novelist might go into tremendous detail, the conversational storyteller doesn’t need the same depth to the story. To improve your storytelling skills, put in only what the listeners need to understand and “feel” the plot. But leave out anything that might be distracting or might make the story longer than the amount of the attention they are willing to spend on it.
Using Your Storytelling Skills to Make Magic
Once you understand why we tell stories and the two things we need to make them effective (attention and transportation), you are well on your way to making magic. I hope this season you look beyond the lights and cookies and carols and fix your eyes on the role that stories play in the magic. During the upcoming holidays, make sure to take part in the grand human tradition of storytelling. Whether you are at a company party or cozied up next to a relative you haven’t seen all year, take the opportunity to trade stories with someone. To share, to connect, to bring about some magic. Because if the holidays are about sharing and connecting with others in the spirit of love and joy, stories are a great way to do that.
Join us Monday as we move toward the new year and talk about how to improve your persuasive storytelling skills. We’ll take a turn from the personal nature of conversational storytelling to the persuasive feats we can accomplish when we put great storytelling to work for our professional causes.
Ethos3 is about presentations. But it also about telling great stories. We are here to help you tell your story.
